First Baby Pictures

Yesterday William and I went for our first prenatal appointment. We got the midwife Roswitha, who is originally from East Germany and is wonderful. It made me feel so at home to have a German lady as our caregiver. She's matter-of-fact and natural like so many European women. She scooted a little machine around on my belly to see if we could hear the heartbeat. I was listening hard, but no little fluttery sound. We heard my heartbeat loud and clear! So then she brought out the big guns, the rolling ultrasound machine. She squirted on the gloop, rolled it around on my stomach, and wow, there was the baby!

It was so much bigger than I expected. She figured out from the size that I'm actually 10 1/2 weeks along rather than 9. She said the baby looked healthy and pointed out its little leg sticking up. It has a big ole head. William said it had my nose. She took two stills and gave them to us.

I just finished the book Spiritual Midwifery, another loan from Wren. It's the story of a commune in Tennessee and the way they developed their own birthing methods to serve their self-sufficient community. They learned through trial-and-error, medical advice, and good common sense how to best give birth normally. They call contractions "rushes" to convey the feeling of energy moving through you. The woman who wrote it, Ina May Gaskin, has become an international authority on midwifery. The book is filled with birth stories from women in the community, told from their perspective, their husbands' perspective, and the midwives' perspective. After reading that book it seems like almost a crime the way giving birth has been over-medicalized in this country. Out of fear for what "might" happen, women who could have normal and empowering birth experiences are instead encouraged to think of hospitals, epidurals, and drugs as the only way to experience labor. The numbing-out and depersonalization of what should be an affirming process. I haven't given birth yet, so in a big sense I don't know what I'm talking about, but so much of it seems like common sense. Of course we're brilliant in this country at addressing medical traumas and swooping in and saving people and babies in jeopardy. It would be just as disconcerting not to have that safety net as it is that we pretend everyone needs that kind of care. I'm glad I have a choice.

I borrowed William's body pillow last night and slept better than I have in recent memory. The physical therapist recommended I use one but I didn't at first because I didn't believe it would help. I stand corrected. I can get the pressure off the sore parts of my body and it's like I'm floating. I'm looking forward to another good sleep tonight.